25^th  Wedding Anniversary

A little more that 25 years ago a young Army Corporal was driving back to his parents’ house after being rejected by his 17 year old girlfriend.  She was tired of him hocking his television for gas money so he could drive up to Rochester, New York from Fort Knox, Kentucky every single weekend. She wasn't so upset about him coming up to see her, she was upset about having to give him gas money to drive the 12 hours back to his base at the end of each weekend. This last time he had asked her to marry him, something he had done every weekend for the last year and she told him, "No." which was something she did every weekend for the last year. She then left with her family for a trip to Pennsylvania and would not be returning until after he had left for his base.

Fortunately he was driving home a bit fast when another driver ran a stop sign and ploughed into his car. He didn't remember much of the accident. He saw the car pull out and then remember sitting between two very large trees still behind the wheel pushing down on the brake peddle over and over. The brakes weren't working anymore since one of his wheels was no longer attached to the car. I'll someday write a fuller explanation of my final proposal to my loving wife but let’s just say I had to stick around a couple of extra days which was just long enough, with the additional pity points of the accident, to get her to accept my proposal. The next time I saw her was July the 2nd 1977 on the day of our wedding.

Twenty-five years is a long time to be married. To celebrate we decided to fly to New York City and see a Broadway play. This is our 25th Wedding Anniversary travel log.

We had a good time and we would love to go back to New York City again, not in July, but we would love to go back. Cheryl and I grew up in Rochester, New York but not counting changing planes this was Cheryl’s first trip to the “Big Apple” and only my second. It was my anniversary gift to her so; of course I stuck her with making all of the arrangements. She picked the play, Les Miserables, the hotel, the Muse, and the airline, Jet Blue.

Jet Blue was really rather nice. Each seat has a built in TV screen and you can watch satellite TV for free. It was surprising to me when the woman sitting next to the window who had all of the tools of a frequent flyer; correctly sized carry-on bag, blow-up neck pillow, comfortable clothes, easy slip on shoes; the whole collection spoke of her sophistication as a flyer. This illusion was quickly ripped away when the person next to her reclined his seat and she was shocked and intrigued. She could not seem to figure out how to recline her seat so as I helped her push the button on the armrest she commented, “It takes a man to make this stuff work.” Even I winced, but I assumed that her sisters in their long climb to equality would never forgive her.

She was also impressed when the same guy changed channels on the TV, after a rather lengthy training course she was able to change channels as well. The poor guy that was forced to show her and then reshow her stopped after she was able to move from one channel to another. She seemed perfectly pleased with herself but it seemed a bit too sad to me, since she had failed to get a headset and you can not watch “Tennessee Tuxedo” without sound. I offered her my headset since the flight is only 45 minutes long and I could live without watching some confused woman staring with amazement at cartoons and never knowing the airline did provide her a way to hear the dialog. I am sure she thanked me and commented about my masculine strengths but I missed it by quickly burying myself in my book. I thanked the lord that I had married a woman that could rebuild a transmission while simultaneously preparing Châteaubriand with a nice béarnaise sauce for four.

The Hotel was interesting; when you check in they give you your business card with your name and the direct dial line to your room on it. The front desk is not really a front desk at all; it is a couple of well dressed guys sitting behind computers wearing headsets. You sit down in front of them like it is some kind of interview and they check you in. The room was nice but for $300 a night nothing special. I made the mistake of telling Cheryl that the last time I was in New York the Marriott upgraded me to a room with a living room, sitting room, piano room with grand piano, a luxurious bathroom and of course a bedroom which had French glass doors that opened onto the piano room, they charged me $240 a night. That was awhile ago, and it was an upgraded room, but it was a bit nicer that the room the Muse gave us. Our room consisted of a bedroom which was almost filled by the bed and a rather small bathroom.

New York in July is hot and humid. I complained to Cheryl about all the clothes she packed but regretted that I didn’t pack enough once I realized that every time you leave the hotel, you have to shower and change clothes. We got in it about 2 in the afternoon dropped our stuff off at the hotel and went out for lunch. Cheryl loves Chinese food and I can take it or leave it. We decided to look for a Chinese restaurant. 97 degrees, 101% humidity and we are walking around a strange city looking for a Chinese restaurant.

We stayed just off Broadway so we walked down to “Times Square” and of course head in the wrong direction. We circle around a couple of blocks and then end up near Rockefeller Center. It is getting hotter and I am getting drenched in my own sweat. We walk past some perfectly good restaurants, but I can not find a Chinese one, we see, Thai, Italian, Malaysian, Ethiopian, English, Texan, Irish, American, Southern, Indian, Greek, you name it and we trudged past it, in heat that would make a French Foreign Legionnaire beg for mercy, but we could not find a Chinese restaurant. I know that people that really know NYC could name me twenty Chinese restaurants within three blocks of Times Square because we saw many of them over the next couple of days but in the heat we just couldn’t find one. Two hours later, two severely dehydrated lost souls finally find a Chinese restaurant. The food was O.K. but nothing to write home about.

We noticed two things about New York the first was; that native New Yorkers completely ignore the “Walk” “Don’t Walk” signs. That is not completely true, they will glance up at the sign if a car tries to run them over and if it says “Walk” they will comment politely to the offending driver, “Hey, I’m walking here.” If they glance up and see the sign says “Don’t walk” they will run their ring across the car’s paint job but will not comment verbally, the more intense ones may also use hand signals. Drivers try and ignore all pedestrians since they are soft and have a tendency to bounce off the car without doing much damage other than the small scrapes they seem to leave on the paint job.

The second thing we noticed is the strange, exotic, unusual and most often unpleasant smells that waif through the streets. This might not be true of New York in December but in July the aromas are overpowering and ever-present. The most common is the strong smell of urine. It can be found almost anywhere and everywhere which makes you wonder how it is deposited on the busiest streets in the world. Luckily this remains a mystery for which I am happy to report I was unable to uncover during this trip. One of the Broadway plays that we decided not to attend was “Urine town” for what I hope is obvious reasons. I of course did not know it might be a play about New York.

We finished eating lunch and at about 4:00 pm walked back to our hotel. We showered and Cheryl was able to change. I sheepishly put on the same clothes I had just peeled off minutes before. 4:30 pm the temperature is 98 degrees and rising. We decide that we should take an open top bus tour of Manhattan. It is hot and the bus is completely full. The town is covered in a thick haze and I seem to be slowly and painfully melting like an overweight snowman. The sun has mysteriously moved closer to the earth and seems to be hovering just inches above the haze which blocks me from taking any photographs of New York City. We get back to the hotel three painful hours later understanding two things; that the tour guide works for tips, which he explained about 75 times he will share with the driver. We also learn that no one in New York likes Donald Trump. Looking at the buildings he is subjecting the city to, it is no wonder.

We return to the hotel. We shower and Cheryl smiles at me as she changes into her evening clothes and I put back on my damp shirt and trousers. We go to dinner at a nice British pub called the “Playwright” tavern. The meal is nice and the service is British, I get to sample the different beers they have even though I ask for a “Genesee cream ale” each time. We walk back to the hotel for another shower. I change into a pair of running shorts which of course I have never run in but I carry in my bag to sleep in. Cheryl changes again and tells me that her friend told her that the best time to go to the “Empire State Building” is at night. They close at 11 pm. I confirm this with the front desk and ask how far it is? They tell me we are within walking distance, 12 blocks. I translated this to 24 blocks since we have to get back to the hotel. I look at the crumpled pile of discarded clothes and told my wife of 25 years that I love her dearly but that if she makes me put on those same clothes and walk 24 blocks at night in this temperature that I would dispose of her body in the “East river.”

We decide to stay in our first night in New York. We watch a very expensive and very bad movie, then turn out the lights. Our room is on the seventh floor and it sounds like they are erecting an oil rig just outside of it. Chains rattle and metal crashes. Cheryl thinks they are removing the garbage. It sounds like a dumpster being loaded and reloaded but it goes on forever. We sleep in twenty minute stretches in between the sounds of breaking glass, and the metal on metal symphony. New York is not the city that never sleeps because there is too much to do; it never sleeps because, the noise never falls below that of an Army live fire tank gunnery range.

We decide that since we can not sleep and the sun is coming up that we will try and beat the heat by heading out early. I stop by the faux front desk and I explain that they need to change our room. The guys ask me why and I explain that we would like to sleep in the room not just listen to the sounds of the city. They ask us were we are from and I have to say “Utah.” He gives me a knowing look and I explain that I am sure he will be able to find us a quieter room. I give him a look that expresses the idea that; I may be from Utah, but I know nine ways to kill a man with my bare hands, so I had better have a new room when I return. Then we head out for the day.

Cheryl wants a real New York bagel. The first place we stop is hopelessly slow so we walk out after twenty minutes, Cheryl wanted to correct this line saying it was only five minutes but I told her she can write whatever she wants in her travel log, it was twenty minutes.

We finally get a bagel and cream cheese at a typical New York bagel shop and feel like we could almost ignore the “Don’t Walk” signs. In fact on the way down to the harbor tour, I comment that one of the magazines has “Tom Cruise” on the cover in a wet “T-shirt.” Cheryl comments that she will try and find me a magazine with “Julia Roberts” on it. I tell her that I don’t think that Julia Roberts is all that sexy and then comment that I am not sure who I think is sexy, just as we step off the curb. A car almost runs us over and I hear her say, “Hey, I’m walking here!” I am not sure if it was to the driver or to me because of my comment that I don’t know who I consider sexy.

We walk the 8 blocks to the tour boat and get on for a 3 hour tour the exact same time that Gilligan was suppose to be on the “Minnow.” The town is still blanketed in a haze so I only get a few good shots of the “Statue of Liberty.” We get a pretty good tour but most of it is, “In the distance you would normally see…” By the end of the tour even the tour guide, who also works mostly for tips, is bored out of his mind. If you are going to take the tour take the half island tour since the back half of Manhattan is really just nondescript apartment buildings and trees. We also tour the Intrepid museum but I can not recommend it if the temperate is above 100 degrees. I wanted to look at a “Huey” helicopter on the flight deck which Cheryl reminded me I spent about a thousand hours flying in when I was in the Army so she doubted I would discover something new about it. She also told me that if I didn’t get her back to her air conditioned room and shower that they would find me floating in the “East river."

We go back the 8 blocks to the hotel, shower and then head out for lunch. The closest place is McDonnell’s and I apologize but we eat in a McDonnell’s in Time Square. We both have a yogurt and a bottle of water. Happy 25^th Anniversary, but it is really hot. We go back to the room, shower and watch the movie “Bogus”, it was really hot! We get dressed and since I did bring an extra change of clothes for the play, sitting in our new quieter Air Conditioned hotel room I was feeling pretty good.

The play started at 8:00 pm and it was about 6:00 pm when we walked back out into the heat. We made it across the street with minimum damage and slid into a delicatessen. We didn’t want to order dinner so ordered New York cheese cake and a coffee and a tea. We tried to nurse it so we wouldn’t have to brave the heat but at 6:30 pm we were back in the heat. We stopped by and picked up our tickets from the “Will Call” booth and then when over to the Marriott to have a glass of wine. We spent about 15 minutes total in the heat so we made it pretty much unscathed to the play. I loved it and Cheryl enjoyed it. I had seen the movie but didn’t remember the girl as being such an important role. Cheryl explained the last half of the play to me during the intermission but was confusing it with another play. When she got to the part were the girl almost drowns on her way to America I told her, “Honey that doesn’t sound like Les Miserables.”

Since the second half was completely different than she thought, I think she really enjoyed it more. We finished the play on a high note and went off in search of dinner. Like I said New York may never sleep, but I think they greet the dawn hungry since almost every restaurant was closed or closing. We found a place that was open I ordered the steak and eggs and she ordered French toast, basically our 25th wedding anniversary dinner was breakfast.

On our last day in New York City, we sleep well on the 11th floor, toward the back is definitely the way to go at the Muse. We get up, shower and go out for breakfast. As we step out of the hotel we notice a large number of police. We walk up to find a restaurant and notice that everyone else is looking back down the street toward our hotel. We stop at the restaurant on the corner and order some food. Everyone that was looking down at our hotel is now being herded off the street by the police and the door we entered the restaurant from is locked. It seems that they have found a suspicious package outside of our hotel. The bomb squad is called and we are told we can not return to our hotel. We decide to walk the 6 blocks down to Central Park, I may not have mentioned this before but it is hot. The problem with walking 6 blocks to Central Park is that once you get there, there is very little to do except go for a walk. We walk around Central Park wondering if we will be allowed back into our hotel room and if there will be a hotel to return to. Totally exhausted we decide to stop walking around Central Park and walk the 6 long blocks back to the hotel.

We find the hotel intact. We shower, change back into the same clothes we were wearing in Central Park and even though it is three and one half hours before our flight is scheduled to leave we check out. I ask if they can get us a taxi. The doorman starts to explain that it would be better to hire the hotel town car, I stop him by saying, “Fine, whatever. Please just get me transportation to the airport.” We check in at JFK three hours before our fight time and collapse into the air conditioned waiting room happy in the knowledge that we were safe from the heat, humidity and aroma that is New York City in July.