If you can not fill out a customs form do they have to let you in?

It has been about a year since I was in Russia. I don't remember having to fill out a customs form last time but on the flight out of London we were given Customs Declaration forms. I messed mine up since I started one line too low so could not find a spot to fill in "Country of permanent living." Which is kind of OK since I am not sure what my country of permanent living is. I got the "Surname" section figured out, but was a bit confused with the "Name" box since it seemed kind of redundant, and was not helped at all when I got to "Patronimic." Last, First, and Middle for those of you trying to keep score. I was amused with the standard do you have any: "Narcotics and psychotropic substances," since I doubt many smugglers mark the box. I was confused whether my computer and CD drive qualified as "Printed matters and other information carrying devices" and finally was confused and amused when they asked if I had brought any "Transportation means" if I had, I was required to provide "Type Model, Output year, Engine volume, Chassis and Customs regime." I am pretty sure it would have put me over my weight limit for luggage. I asked for another one since I filled it out wrong but they ran out of forms. Chris who was travelling with me didn't get one at all so he had to fill it out at the airport. He listed his phone under "High frequent radio-electronic and communication equipment" which I did not. I told him I did not use mine as frequently as he did so it did not qualify under my definition of high frequent. Luckily they did not ask for them at customs or I would not have gotten the spelling right in this travel log and Chris and I would have had to explain why my computer was a information carrying device and his was not, while his phone was high frequent radio-electronic and communication equipment and mine was not. 

Four Star Hotel ?
The hotel was a couple stars, short hitting that all-important five stars rating. We were both impressed with the modern art thing they had going with the "Rebar" (reinforcing metal bar) sticking out of the concrete and the attention to detail that the construction crew had obviously paid to the job. I am guessing that it was built just after the war when building supplies where still in short supply. It was of course an old KGB training camp and recreation centre, since all stories told to us Americans revolve around the KGB. I am surprise they got any spying done with all of the property they had to maintain. It did have kind of a military or prison thing going for it so it may have been an old KGB hotel. I noticed that my room was completely wired, kind of over-wired because even the sprinkler heads had wires running to them, which is kind of funny since they did not have an water pipes running to them. 

We signed up for meals, lunch at 3:00pm, supper at 6:00pm, and breakfast at 10:00am. We got them moved around a bit, since I am not sure that schedule would have worked out for me. The dinning room had sort of an Army "Mess Hall" feel to it, but not as posh. The waitress brought us soup in a tin pot that looked just like my old Vietnam era canteen cup. She plopped in on the table and we fought each other for the one piece of meat in the broth, it tasted like chicken by the way. 

White Nights
I got back to my room deaden by very expensive whiskey but sill kind of hungry which I would remain for the entire trip. I noticed flies in my room. It was late about 11:30pm but being St. Petersburg the sun was still shining so I opened the window to tempt the flies out but only managed to let the mosquitoes in. This is the home of the famous "white nights" since the sun barely goes down at all. This is kind of cool but since my curtains were black mesh which reduces the glare but still allows you to lay out in full sunlight while desperately trying to get some sleep I was a bit tired the next morning at sunrise, 3:00am. 

When we got to breakfast, now conveniently moved to 8:30am, I regretted moving it from the original 10:00am start time since sleeping in the sun reduces the amount of rest you get, but does give you a nice tan. Breakfast was a hardy bowl of grits, I think? Though Chris felt it was porridge, neither of us had enough conviction to argue about it. That was followed by two hot dogs and some cold canned peas. I am not making this up. Two hot-dogs, no bun because that would just be silly, and about 27 cold peas each from a can. We ended it with some hot tea and some stale bread. 

Is water suppose to have a colour?
I went to sleep last night to the buzz of mosquitoes and woke to find their plump bloated bodies lined up on the screen waiting to get out so they could go use my blood to feed their young. I was a bit itchy so I started to fill the half a bathtub in my room with luke-warm water. I prefer to bath in hot water but luke-warm was the best I was getting. The water started off almost clear and then deepen to a light brown as the tub filled. I decided that a warm coffee colour was the darkest colour I could stand to bath in so I ended up with a half filled bathtub. I commented about this at breakfast to one of the other guys and he said, "It is not so much the colour, it is the smell that stopped me from filling the tub to the top." 

Let me recap brown water and food produced in large quantities, left out for a couple of hours before each meal then served at room temperature, guess what? I ended up with a bad case of stomach flu, what a surprise? I am sure my wife is happy about this. I fly from Russia to a 16-day black-tie cruise on the North Atlantic and I will be forced to live on Jell-O and sparking water for most of the trip. 

Some things you should not share.
We had lots of entertainment the first night of BrainShare, Russia dancers and a DJ, plus although we are way outside of St. Petersburg the hotel still had its fair share of hookers. One of my friends, Justin, told me the room next to his looked like Sodom and Gomorra with a little spill over on to the coaches in the hallway near the elevators. Chris Neal told me that he had to leave the party when three guys approached him and after about a half an hour conversation in broken English asked him "Do you vant to come to Vater Closet viz us?" 

I am too sick to continue so I am off to do my XML presentation and then I will cuddle up in the corner like some heroin addict and shiver until they come and take me away.