This year was no different and we both spoiled each other rotten as usual. The drama came from my idea ( yes it was a stupid idea but let me continue...) that I really wanted something specific this Xmas. Let us flashback...... Xmas 2000.... Playstation 2 (PS2) has just debuted and Stupid Husband is all riled up about it. On their trips to the mall Wife must drag him away from the demo systems they have set up everywhere. 

She even had to break up a couple of altercations when the other kids played for too long and Stupid Husband didn't get to. Stupid Husband did all the things he was supposed to do. He went to work everyday, he took out the garbage, he washed behind his ears, he was the perfect gentlemen (so that's a little much but you get the idea.) 

He even left subtle little clues like magazines open to specific pages, the computer left to certain websites, in-depth discussions about how cool Playstation 2 is.... nothing obvious but just enough to insure that she knew what he wanted. Well after telling all my friends that I was probably getting Playstation 2 and that they could come over and play after Xmas... (maybe by FEB when he was ready to start sharing...) He patiently waited for Xmas day to come. He waited through Xmas eve with his family and was surprised when he didn't get a gift certificate for a game or something. 

But ahhhh he thought it's a surprise, he should play along. So he did he opened his presents and smiled knowing tomorrow we he awoke he would have his REAL present. he almost thought about disconnecting his crappy old Playstation 1 before he went to bed but that might clue ruin the surprise. So he went to sleep with visions of Tekken, Monaco GP and Resident Evil 3 dancing in his head. Xmas morning he awoke right a 0700 and shook Wife awake and ran downstairs to start a Xmas fire and open presents. They began with the gifts and he noticed that none of them were big enough to be a Playstation 2. Ahhhh she must be saving it for last.... he thought slyly. 

Presents came and went and he waited and waited. Then they were done... No more Presents! Hmmm that's odd.... What is she up to? He pondered... They started to get ready to go to her parents and he thought AHHH, that's when I'll get it. They arrived and began to open presents, but no Playstation 2. He started to think he wasn't going to get one.... especially when Wife noticed the look on his face and told him 

" You are not getting a Playstation 2....." He was confused what did she mean? It took a few weeks but he eventually figured out that she meant he did not a Playstation 2 for Xmas. So he was sad... very sad.... Well Stupid Husband vowed to not let this happen again so he was a good boy the entire year and ate his vegetables and washed his face and everything. He would always wander into the game stores and look longingly at the systems and point out the games he liked. Just to make sure that this didn't happen again. he figured he must have been TOO subtle. he basically told Wife that he wanted a Playstation 2 (PS2) just in case she didn't notice already. Which he figured is what must have happened. Not more beating around the bush he was going to chop the bush down if that's what it took. 

Well his birthday came and went sans Playstation... and Easter and Memorial Day and basically all the holidays and he still was without one. his 15 year old nephew had one but 30 year old Stupid Husband does not. So lets jump ahead it's getting near Xmas 2001 and Stupid Husband thinks that everything is in place this year. Then cruel fate turns it's ugly head and he is told he is again not going to get a Playstation 2 for Xmas. "It's too expensive... I'll never see you..... Your too old for one..." is what he hears. 
 

Crushed he begins to accept that he is not meant to have one... then they get one in the firehouse!!! Everyone is playing and laughing and having a great time. Oh he is smitten, it is wonderful... the games are so real and so addicting he is hooked and he asks again for one for Xmas and he is again shot down. 

"I already bought your presents and that is too expensive." 

" Did you spend $300 on me? (PS2's are $299.99) ". 

"Yes" she replied. "Then they are not too expensive... take the other stuff 
back".

You'd be surprised how badly that went over with her. 

After licking his wounds Stupid Husband came to realize that he was not going to get one for Xmas. How was he going to deal with this? Hmmmm he thought for a minute... Maybe someone else in the house would get one for Xmas. Then he would get to play with it.... But who else in the house would want a PS2? Hmmm not Wife she would probably get very upset if SOMEBODY bought HER one for Xmas. Hmmmm. so he was stuck... Just the Wife reminded him that it was Jake's (the furry dog) Birthday on Xmas so we should buy him extra presents. 

He thought this was a wonderful idea and agreed wholeheartedly.
So after a trip to the Pet store and buying a few bones and chew toys for Max ( the big dumb dog) Stupid Husband wandered over to Media Play to get Jake's Xmas/B-Day gift. He was very happy to buy Jake such an expensive gift and knew that Jake would just love it. He also bought a few accessories for Jake's gift so the whole family could enjoy it.

So all was well in the world and Stupid Husband welcomed the coming of the Xmas season. He finished all of his shopping early this year (DEC 23rd) because he was overflowing with Xmas spirit. Xmas day arrived and they opened presents the Wife asked if she could open any of them and without thinking Stupid Husband said sure. So she opens a DVD of a movie she wanted... She yells " did you get me a DVD player?!?!". 

" No I didn't buy a DVD player." I replied. "Did you buy me Playstation 2 ?" she asked very angrily. * For those of you I didn't talk to about the Playstation 2, it will play DVD's if you buy a special adapter. (Cool huh?) "No I did not buy YOU a Playstation 2" I replied I tried to convince her that I made a mistake and thought that it was the CD soundtrack to the movie. It didn't go over real well... So we continue to open presents and she opens a DVD adapter for a Playstation 2... I couldn't really explain that one away so I swore that I didn't buy her a PS2 and I gave her Jake's big present to open. 

"SURPRISE!!!! Jake got a Playstation 2 for XMAS!! Isn't that great!?!" I shouted showing the box to the clearly overwhelmed dog.. Who, by the way was speechless over such a lavish gift. 

Wife was also apparently overwhelmed because she began to cry. I thought that was very sweet of her to be so happy for the dog that she was moved to tears. When the tears clearly became sobs he wondered if maybe she wasn't just really happy for the dog and maybe he did something wrong. When she got up and went upstairs, Stupid Husband waited patiently, not even opening the box and hooking anything up even thought the dog clearly waiting for someone to open the box for him. Wife returned with a similar sized box as Jake's present and plopped it down in front of Stupid Husband and the dog who wanted to play with his new toy. 

Stupid Husband pulled off the wrapping paper and looked at the dog who was clearly amazed that they HAD BOTH GOT PLAYSTATION 2'S FOR XMAS!!!! What a happy couple they were until Stupid Husband figured out that he was probably in trouble. And Yes he was in trouble. Especially when Wife tried to give him the game had mentioned and he showed her the copy that Jake got. Well I hope you enjoyed this .. I'm not sure if this is a happy ending or not I ended up having to take Jake's Playstation back and we have to share but he is not very good so I get to play longer and I think I ended up buying my own Xmas present but I'm not sure yet. I hope everyone had a great Xmas and I will talk to you soon. Hopefully my next one won't be as long. 

Stupid Husband


>>> "Loving Wife's reply > 01/03/02 07:12AM >>>
Hi everyone, 

It was a little more dramatic than this. I was REALLY MAD!!!! I had this for him since the day after Thanksgiving and was going to surprise him later in the day (when he believed he had no more presents to open) with the system and the game he wanted. Guess who got the biggest surprise???!!!! Stupid Husband was clearly mistaken when he said he took everything back seeing as he could not remove himself from the TV for at least 5 days after Christmas. I was the one who braved the bitter cold wind and returned the duplicate presents!!!! AND YES!!! He did end up paying for his own presents and the rest of the money went toward MY credit cards for the trauma and pain and suffering I went through. Can you blame me?? Anyway, 

Happy New Year everyone!!! 

Wife